Merry Christmas!!!

Merry Christmas

From the Wigge's

Rejoice! A Savior is Born!

May your Christmas be

filled with joy!

make ya laugh....'the strange christmas scene...'

The strange Christmas scene

In a small southern town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets.Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At a "Quik Stop" on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, "You stupid Yankees never do read the Bible!" I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible.She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in my face she said "See, it says right here, 'The three wise man came from afar.'"

Poor Pitiful Me. . .

Today I am feeling sorry for myself. I don't usually do this but today I feel weak, helpless, and full of self-pity. Sometimes getting my feelings out, even if it is on the keyboard, helps me to feel much better afterwards. So here it goes. . . I am so tired of carrying the cross that I have to carry. So tired of the burdens that go along with it. I'm referring to being a mother to a disabled child. I sound harsh, I know. What kind of mother would complain about being tired of taking care of her handicapped child? That would be me. I am so so so tired. Please understand though, that I am not tired of Wil, just the responsibilities that he entails. I was trying to stay motivated on cleaning my 'always' trashed home, when the familiar words of, "Mom I'm leaking" ran through the house. Those words are as annoying to me as fingernails down a chalkboard. Wil has an ostomy bag and is also incontinent. When he says that he is leaking, it means that his bag is leaking. Today I walked into the living room to see a puddle of liquid fecies next to him and his shirt and pants were soaked. I go and get the supplies, cutting out a hole in the 'wafer' large enough to fit his stomah. I grabbed the diaper wipes, a new bag, and a new diaper and begrudgingly headed towards the living room. Now I must disrobe him, starting with his shoes, braces, socks, and so on. I must carefully take his pants off so I don't cover him in his own waste. All the while more fecies is pooring out onto our woods floors. Taking his shirt off can be quite tricky too. I do it like it a pro not letting one drop get on him. I start to peel off the old bag and continued to clean him up, putting on the new bag and diaper. Now I get to clean up the floor and take the mess to the garbage and the soiled clothes to the dirty laundry pile. I realilze that this doesn't sound that bad, there are worse things to clean up after; however, this is the fifth time this week. Twice was somewhere between 2:00 and 4:00 in the morning. All of his blankets, soft chairs, and his spiderman couch get soiled. Last week we finally had to throw out the couch because it had been washed so many times it was falling apart. The Scooby Doo and Batman chair are not far behind. My upstairs bathroom and the kids' bedroom always smell of dirty diapers and ostomy bags. I am so tired of that smell. I'm tired of constantly washing soiled blankets and clothing. Wil also has a feeding tube (peg tube) in his stomach and this week the plug part tore off. He is fine but now his gastric juices keep coming out. They did this before too, when it would come unplugged, but now it is all the time. Let me tell you that if you thought grease stains were hard to get out of clothing, try gastric acid. It's almost impossible, Wil has many a stained shirts. My solution until we get to the doctors is a band-aid covering it. I'm tired of giving out meds everyday and before every meal. I'm tired of tube feedings several times a day. I'm tired of carrying him when it is too far to walk. Is it so bad that I just want a normal life. I want my 6, soon to be 7-year-old, to be able to the things that his peers can do. It breaks my heart that I will never see him run or climb on things as his brothers do. A couple of weeks ago I took all three of the boys to the mall to go Christmas shopping for their dad. As we were leaving Saige raced to the car, Asher was playing and climbing on the 'handicapped' parking sign, and there was Wil with his crutches trying to figure out how he could walk on the curb. He had one crutch on the curb and the other on the street, trying really hard to get his left leg onto the curb while his right leg stayed on the street. After several attempts he gave up and continued to walk to the car. I wanted to start crying right then and there. It can be quite difficult sometimes to just do the daily work that comes with a handicapped child, but to know that there are so many things that he will never be able to do, the things that so many other children can do and they take it for granted. I will never look at a child walking the curb the same way again. It will always bring me to the memory of watching my son, trying to act like all the other children, and unable to do the task. There are so many memories of instances such as this. I remeber the first time that I heard him say 'I can't'. He was three and we were coming back from a vacation in Tennessee with some friends. We had stopped at a reststop and all of the kids were running around playing tag. Wil was sitting by a tree. My friend asked him why he wasn't playing and his smiling response was, "I can't run." That memory can make me cry in an instant, as I type the tears are forming and dripping down my cheeks. Last year was the first time that he asked me why God made him with spina bifida. He told me of all the things he'd like to do as he gets bigger and is able to walk and run. I sat down with him and explained to him his condition and the expectations of it. I also told him that God does perform miracles but we don't know what His plan is for Wil and that God may be able to use him better from a wheelchair than on his legs. I also told him that when we die here on earth, we leave behind our imperfect bodies and we will live with Christ forever in our new glorifed bodies. Now all he talks about is dying, because when he dies he will be able to run and fly. I've never in my life met a young child that is excited about dying. He's excited to get a new body that works right. As a mother it breaks my heart to see my son unable to do the simple things that we all do and take for granted. As the kind of mother that I am I will also never indulge these things to my son. We want him to be as independant as possible and to never give up. He can get quite tuckered out with walking and many times will whine and want you to carry him. Bryan and I try to stick to our guns and tell him that he is a big boy and is able to do it on his own. Of course he always throws in the 'You don't have spina bifida, I do' line and trys to guilt you into it. I know that there will always be obstacles for our family and things will always be difficult for Wil. There is never a dull day in our home and always something to do conerning Wil. Normally I don't feel sorry for him or me, but once in awhile my flesh takes over and all I feel like doing is weeping for our 'sucky' situation. I weep for Wil, for myself, for Bryan, and for Wil's brothers. All of us carry a cross, all of us are burdened by this situation, Wil more so than the rest of us. My 'mother's dream' is to see my son restored physically to wholeness, but I don't know the Lord's plan. Through all of this I have seen highs and lows in myself, spiritually, physically, and emotionally. I have grown in ways that would of never been possible if not for this situation. I've also seen myself at my all time lows too. Life is like a rollercoaster, the ups and downs are thrilling and can sometimes fill you with nausea. My cry is over, along with my self-pity. Only about once or twice a year do I feel this way, all caught up in my own sorrow. I'm so glad that I don't live this way on a daily basis. God has blessed me in every situation and with everyone that he has placed in my life. I have a great husband and great children! It would be nice for things to be easier, more 'normal', but I honestly think that if our situation would change then so would we and the direction that God wants us to go in.

Just my luck. . .

There are some people that just don't have any luck. I am one of those people. If a car drives through a mud puddle and there are pedestrians standing on the sidewalk, I am the only one to get hit by the water. If a sidewalk is uneven, I am the one to trip on it. If there is food on the chair of a restaurant I am the one to sit in it. If there is one hamburger not fully cooked I am the only one to get it. Today my luck struck again.
I have a pair of jeans that had a tear by the left rear pocket, and me being the cheap, penny pinching woman that I am, decided that they could still be worn. Not to mention that jeans with holes in them are quite stylish, so my 'wear it until it falls apart' attitude is now mainstream. My mistake. I had to take Wil to his Christmas program rehearsal at church today. I decided to wear these perfectly worn jeans not suspecting anything. Once at the church I sat down in the pew and felt the slight tear near my bum. I checked and it wasn't bad. Just a half inch slit. I'm still stylin'. Then during rehearsal I left with my friend to go to Wal-Mart. As I was getting into her car . . . 'RIP'. They tore all the way down to the bottom of my bum. Of course me being me, I got into the car and said let's go. As I got out of the car I noticed there was quite a bit of a draft. I held my shirt down as low as possible as we walked into the store. I went immediately to the clothing department, found a pair of jeans, and then briskly walked. . . no . . . it was more of a gait. It's hard to walk and hold something while trying to hold down your shirt to cover your rear. I am not a multi-tasker. The wonderful thing is that at the new Wal-Mart (out south) you can pay for items at the fitting rooms. So I put on the jeans, paid for them, and gave the lady my ripped ones. I'm sure she got a laugh out of it. It's a good thing that I'm used to my luck. I don't even get embarrassed anymore. I must admit though, that it does frustrate me when I see other people wear clothing that is vintage or ripped all up and nothing ever happens to them. Come to think of it I've had new clothing do the same thing. When I was 18 I went to semi-formal with my boyfriend and the strap to my dress broke. That was a lot of fun! Thankfully someone there had a safety pin. I've had heels on shoes break before too! I think maybe that is why I'm not into fashion. Clothes just don't like me, not only do they not flatter me, but they don't even like to stay on me. . . that is, in one piece.

Todays letter is the letter H . . . .

As the years have gone by during our child rearing many questions have come to my mind. Is Sesame Street really a good thing? Are liquids damaging to children? Do people really believe that children look peaceful while sleeping? Over the years of pondering these questions I have come to some conclusions. Whether they are right or wrong or whether you agree with me or not these are my answers.
1. Is Sesame Street really a good thing?
conclusion: Sesame Street is a classic, we all grew up watching it and we want our children to watch it too. One has to wonder though, what are we really teaching our children? Do they really need to know their letters and numbers at a young age? After raising three boys, our youngest only weeks away from turning five, and having all of them watch these educational shows such as Sesame Street I have come to a conclusion that these shows are not really necessary and they will only allow you to have sleepless nights. This has been proven to me over the course of the last nine years. Each one of our children have crawled into bed with us to sleep at night, the reasons have all been different but the end result is the same . . . dad & mom have a sleepless night. Many times our dreams are filled with things that we have done or seen during the day. If you allow your children to watch Sesame Street and the letter of the day is H more than likely your child will ( in their sleep ) make the letter H by turning sideways shoving their head into your ribs and shoving their toes into the ribs of your spouse. The Letter D is always fun too! Of course you are at the edge of the bed and your child has their head on your shoulder, their bum is shoved out just far enough to touch the other parent, and their cold feet are on your shins. The letter N will find both parents at the edge of the bed, each on a side, with the child at an angle. Their head touching one parent and their feet touching the other.
2. Are liquids damaging to children?
conclusion: My findings have led me to believe that yes, liquids are damaging to children. I know that liquids are essential to our diets and our lives. So with that in mind we should only allow our children to drink the amounts that are essential to sustain their lives. I would say that 80 percent of the liquids your child takes in are wasted almost immediately. Thirty percent is usually spilled onto the floors of your home, tables at restaurants, or the devastating red punch on a friends beige carpeting. Spill proof cups are a waste of the American dollar. Considering at some point during there use they will not work, especially when thrown or dropped. The other 50 percent of liquid waste will usually happen while potty training. A toddlers body seems to know when they are potty training and it will more than likely allow extra fluid out of the body and more frequently.
3. Do people really believe that children look peaceful while sleeping?
conclusion: Most people do agree that children look peaceful, sweet, and innocent while sleeping. I believe, however, that it is a conspiracy between children to mislead adults. They may appear to be angelic but in truth they are recharging themselves to cause more destruction to your home for the next day. This is also the time when all of the pillows get their mysterious stains. When their teeth are ruined from the grinding and also when you awake to find that someone has gone to the bathroom somewhere other than the toilet. It may be in a corner of the room, a register, or even the hamper.

I love all three of my sons and though it has been exhausting it has also been joyful to learn from them. They give me so much to laugh about and cry about! To be quite honest I do enjoy watching them sleep, I just know that my nights are not as peaceful as theirs! Being a parent is hard work but the benefits are unlimited. To all of you parents out there, cherish your children no matter how young or how old. Laugh at the sleepless nights and be grateful that you were able to have them. It makes me sad to know that some day my husband and I will no longer be woke up in the middle of the night with someone crawling in our bed, or a bad dream, or even a wet bed. Wait a minute . . . .what am I saying . . . yeah right . . . I doubt that I'll be sad. I enjoy my sleep and will probably be in heaven when I can get a full 8 hours of non-interrupted sleep. I won't be sad to watch my children grow either. The current age of each one of my children is my favorite. When they are 19, 21, and 24 that will be my favorite age for them. I will always cherish the memories of their youth but will always enjoy them at their current age. I think that is another lesson I have learned over the years. Let your children know how adorable they were when they were babies and toddlers but more importantly let them know how wonderful they are at that very moment. I hope my recent findings will leave all of you with a smile on your face, as was intended. Happy parenting!!

Rant & Rave . . .

I must vent to somebody . . . before I go crazy. How is it that you love your children so much that you would die for them and yet you'd like to kill them too. It just doesnt't seem right. It makes absolutely no sense. If anyone ever tried to hurt my babies I'd come unglued and spend the next 30 years in prison. Yet on the flipside I feel like slamming their heads into the wall, shoving full bars of soap into their mouths, tying their hands together, and locking them in a room far, far, far away from where I am. Every day I wake up in a rather good mood, and within the first five minutes of my children being awake I feel like a monster. My muscles are tight and my back is hunched over, my eyes have become thin little slits, I have foam and druel oozing through my teeth, and my voice is several octives lower. I feel like a mad-woman. This is not the mom that I envisioned being. I realize that my children are all the same sex and very close in age, but I was hoping that it would make them closer, not fight every waking moment of the day. I pray that when they are older this closeness will happen. As of right now they can't seem to breathe the same air without a disagreement that turns into a huge battle. Of course Asher has absolutely no sympathy that his older brother is handicapped, he'll push him off chairs, drag him around by his legs, and take something from him and start running knowing that he can't be caught by his brother on the crutches. Then again will uses everything as a weapon. Asher has been hit many times by remotes and crutches. Wil likes to pinch him and I think Wil has run over his toes (on purpose) with his wheel chair too. Not to mention Wil is older and smarter and does very well manipulating Asher to do things for him or get things for him, especially the 'off limits' things. When 'busted' it is Asher at the scene of the crime not Wil. For the most part Saige is out of the picture with the little ones, but once a day you will hear him yelling at one of them. Saige's issues are primarliy with me. He wants to be independant and have the freedoms of a 16 year old and he doesn't like to hear the word no. Once the word 'NO' is uttered in our house by a parent you would think that world stopped spinning.
Don't get me wrong, my children have more good traits than bad. There are so many things that I love about them. So many things that make them individuals and special. Lately though, the sibling rivalry has been getting to me. This morning I felt that I was at the end of my rope, and it took everything inside of me to stay calm while disciplining them. I think I need a spa day or maybe just a day and night - 24 hours- without any of my children. Go to a hotel and sleep without being woke up by a child getting into our bed or Wil's ostomy bag leaking, soak in a bathtub that I don't have to clean first and empty out toys. Order room service so I don't have to cook. I could have the t.v. all to myself and I wouldn't have to watch any cartoons. I could . . . I should . . . I should probably get my head out of the clouds and back to reality. I have dishes, laudry, and cleaning to do and Asher will be home soon from pre-school. Whewww!!! I do feel better now , getting all of that out. Thank you for letting me vent and realizing that even though I may get fed up with things from time to time, you all know how much I really do love my children.